do you think a woman can tell she's also attracted to women before she had any sexual experience ?
Of course! :)
I was attracted to women long before I had any sexual experience with them. Hell, I was attracted to women before I had any sexual experience whatsoever.
You don’t need to have sex with someone to know that you’re attracted to them. You don’t need to have sex with anybody, period. Your feelings are valid, and there is no need to “prove” them (whether it’s to yourself or to others) by having sex.
I’m assuming you asked this question because it concerns you on a personal level, so please know that I’m always happy to listen and help you out where I can. I know what it’s like to be confused about your sexuality (I’ve been there), and you can literally ask me anything. :)
So like, I wouldn’t be against dating girls, but sex isn’t an option, yet I want sex with guys. WHAT DOES THAT MAKE ME? LIKE IM SORRY BUT I DONT FIND VAGINAS APPEALING CUZ I HAVE ONE AND I’D RATHER NOT? BUT THEN AGAIN PENIS IS GROSS TOO.
I WILL FOREVER BE CONFUSED.
The truth is that sexuality is a continuum and it can change and you don’t have to “be” anything, except what you decide you are. Now I don’t think others can really tell you what you are, what they can do is give you pointers and make assumptions from what you tell them, but I think that’s as far as it goes.
That being said, the term ‘biromantic’ exists. It’s a term that stems from the ace community but maybe it’s what you’re looking for. Here. I do know people that identify as biromantic straight or biromantic homosexual, or … [the list goes on].
(Also, just a friendly reminder that equating vaginas to women and penises to men is problematic. Some women don’t have vaginas, and some men don’t have penises.)
PS: I don’t find genitalia particularly appealing either. :D
Why do humans feel the need to give names to everything? Why does it matter “what” you are? I call myself happy. I don’t like stating a specific sexuality, it’s just restrictive and problematic.
Those labels exist to help people who otherwise tend to feel very much alone in a world where heterosexuality is labeled as the norm. Labels have often made it and still make it possible to
— create visibility for people that do not fit what we are told on a daily basis is “the norm”,
— establish communities for people like me (as in people this society wouldn’t even bother to acknowledge much less support otherwise because we’re “different”)
— and to build safe spaces where we actually, at least most of the time, are allowed to talk about our feelings, experiences, needs and desires without being threatened or being told that we are sick, freaks or belong in Hell.
If you find that labels restrict you, then don’t use them. Personally, it’s the reason why I don’t label myself as -romantic. It doesn’t help me, I don’t need it, so why bother? Other people might find it helpful, and others might think it’s trendy. The focus should always be on those who find it helpful.
If we lived in a discrimination-free society that would acknowledge the fact that we are all just humans that have a right to express themselves and their feelings towards one another without getting judged (or worse yet abused, raped or killed), I’d happily toss aside all my labels. The sad thing is that we don’t.
All in all, labels are there for people, not the other way around.
in which Crowley is me once again
It didnt take long for a lot of the fandom to make it all about Reid. Man, fuck Criminal Minds. I could possibly regret saying that later, its always been a favorite show of mine but not in a long while. I held on, I held strong, I sat through some pretty ratchet ass storylines and mediocre acting and total ‘what the ever-loving fuck’, and fridging up the fuckin wazoo. But fuck you show…fuck you.
When the man you love tells you that you were on his mind all day yesterday and couldnt understand why he couldnt stop thinking about you (it was my birthday)…I dont know whether to jump up and dance or curl up and cry. Hell, I’m just glad he saw all the good wishes on FB and gave some himself.
Writing Erin last night made me cry. They were tears of sadness, happiness, fear, and every emotion in between. These characters have me by the proverbial balls…and every moment of it is fascinating.
I just couldn’t take it anymore and I had to call him, hear his voice. I didn’t think he’d be home and I didn’t intend to leave a voicemail. He answered the phone but I asked for him anyway because he and his son sound pretty much the same, though I can tell the difference. I told him it was me and he sang my name like he always does. But his cell phone rang and he had to take it so he said he’d call me later and I didn’t want to let him go but I have no right to hold on too tight so I said OK. He told me he loved me, sang it, and I said I loved him too.
God, I want to hold him, smell him, and how dare he have my damn heart for like 20 fuckin years when I can never have him. And the truth is there are time when I totally accept that and live my life but lately, the past couple of weeks I have ached for him and nothing can soothe that ache and I only got to hear hello and goodbye today and that makes it worse and I don’t know when I’m gonna hear from him again so I’ll probably bury my fuckin feels in pie tonight.
I’m curious for people’s opinions.
Chief Strauss seems to be one of the most hated characters in the Criminal Minds ‘verse (minus Elle — which still doesn’t make sense to me, she was awesome.). And I know that there are reasons for it too. Asking Emily to spy on the BAU team being the main one, but as I sit here, re-watching 100 again, and a lot of people seems to hate her for the investigation and I don’t get it.
Hotch killed Foyet with his bare hands. It warrants an investigation, just as Elle’s shooting Lee warranted an investigation (which Elle got through, if I remember correctly.)
Chief Strauss, to me, has seemingly been doing her job the entire show. Hotch’s team does have a lot of stuff happen to them that to a supervisor’s standpoint could be damaging to the Bureau. I mean, think about it. Elle killed someone (stuck in a situation Hotch never should have put her in in the first place), Reid was addicted to Dilaudid (spelling?) for months and the show gives us a glimpse of him debating using while working (even though, I don’t think that Sober!Reid would ever do that, but Addicted!Reid w/ PTSD could have - because hello, dead bodies after almost dying has to be a little rough and according to season 6, he didn’t even have any therapy after it.), Gideon just ups and leaves with no real answers (in the story they showed.) All this stuff has got to have an effect on the Chief’s opinion on how Hotch runs his team. I think she has a right to have some suspicion when Emily comes to the team. To the point of spying on him to get rid of him? Yeah, a little ridiculous, but enough to hate her? I don’t know. I realize that it’s a TV show featuring Good v. Bad and we always need a villain.
And after the episode where Strauss actually goes along with the BAU team, she gets a taste of it and honestly seems to understand a little better — the team was never messed with again, because of her anyways. And in Season 5-6, Strauss seems to be more helpful to the team (and Hotch with the retirement option.)
So I guess, I’m asking, Am I completely wrong? What is your opinion of Strauss?
For what it’s worth, I agree with this completely. For someone who functions as the closest thing that the show has to a recurring “stock villain”, I think her character has an extraordinary amount of depth. Her actions are not always likable, but I think they are largely understandable. I think Strauss is another character who is done little justice by fandom; because she doesn’t think the sun shines out of Hotch’s ass, she is automatically branded a “cold bitch”, despite the fact that her doubts concerning him and the team are often well-justified and that she shows a fair amount of sympathy towards him and others throughout the series.
"Her actions are not always likable, but I think they are largely understandable."
That basically sums up how I feel about everyone on the show. I watch from an intellectual and an emotional standpoint: emotionally, I get aggravated every time there’s a setback or someone’s feelings are trampled on because of her (or anyone else), but intellectually, I always keep in mind that there’s a job to be done, and someone’s gotta do it. This was really driven home for me when Strauss told Hotch re: JJ “So you want me to lose my job, so she can keep hers?”
Well, admittedly, I am biased as Strauss is one of my favorite characters but the only thing she ever did that I had a real issue with is trying to blackmail Emily into spying for her. Which I actually appreciate on one level because (from what I understand from people I’ve met who have worked at the FBI) it’s not that unrealistic.
Apart from (eventually) loving the character, I appreciated her role as a more realistic element on Criminal Minds. I hate how often this team goes rogue or gets away with lax procedure(this bugs me on all procedurals) because the characters are supposed to “heroes”, because for some reason for them, the ends justify the means.
What else can I say that hasnt been said so perfectly by others? I feel Erin Strauss is one of the most realistic characters on the show, especially since I feel Seasons 6, 7, and 8 (basically everything since 100) has showed this group of people as nearly infallible superheroes and everyone else in authority be damned). I honestly dont like that they made Strauss so pro-team, she stood up a couple of times (episode 8x17 stands out) but often I felt as if they were writing her as that overly smart woman who is never quite accepted by the “Mean Girls” so she sacrifices who she is to a point to have a seat at their table (at least in recent seasons).
What she did to Emily was wrong and I think she learned her lesson after going out in the field and seeing the sometimes split second decision making. Though I dont think trying to get rid of Hotch and Gideon was wrong from her POV. Even in seasons 1 and 2 that team was doing what they wanted. Getting the job done yes, but at what cost? From what little they give us on her relationship with Blake, I think the actions of cutting her down, and others who worked on that botched case, was justified (again, we dont have enough info). I think Erin Strauss is a strong woman, a dedicated agent, who doesnt let Aaron Hotchner (or anyone) walk all over her at least initially. I think it would’ve been interesting though to see how she handled being lied to in the “Emily’s fake death” storyline but they didnt have her on enough to really show that.
Also I dont even want to discuss how she was relegated to a sound bite and Rossi’s girlfriend by the end. Leaving that as her legacy kinda makes me sick to my stomach.
Jayne Atkinson responded to everyone’s comments on her first vlog except mine. That really hurts. I know she’s busy but wow, it makes me feel like shit. I’ll definitely continue to watch, and hope that my necklace question makes it into one of them, but no more comments. I dont need to be getting my hopes up about that kind of thing. I honestly didnt expect anyone to get a response but when I saw they all had but me….
So many of the feminist and the social justice blogs say things like cat-calling is wrong and its intimidating and its disgusting, and surely I agree that being harassed on the street in a sexual way by strangers is gross.
But yesterday I was walking home from work and some dude was mowing his grass and when I walked by he looked up and shouted “hey baby girl! Do that!” and it put a little pep in my step. I said “how are you” with a little smile and kept walking. He didnt chase me or try to engage or get mean when I walked away. It was just a hello. And I should be able to feel good about that.
Balancing those feelings between feeling harassed (or thinking you should feel that way) and just enjoying someone enjoying you, even if you’re just sashaying by, is tough sometimes. At least it is for me.