Um...Quinn's Cousin, or Somebody

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Posts tagged with "thoughts"

I would give almost anything to have gotten a Rossi/Strauss hotel scene. Either the first hotel in season 7 or the New York hotel in season 8. I want to know what they talked about. Did Rossi help her with her necklace? Did Erin tie his tie? How does it sound when they laugh together. Do they spoon or does Erin like to hold him against her? Who makes the coffee in the little coffeemaker the hotel provides? I can see Dave handing Erin, still in bed, a coffee cup and receiving a kiss as reward. They held hands all through the lobby but left separately, Erin whispering something in Dave’s ear and he smiles that devilish grin before kissing her hand and walking out.

We’re never going to have that. Dave is never going to think about or talk about Erin again. The whole year will be lost to the characters and the fans. We won’t get coffee dates or foot massages or movie nights or Skype from the road or Hotch ribbing him like he ribbed Hotch. That still hurts and I’m not sure that it will ever stop. So many fans have ships that they hope and wish and pray will become canon for hundreds of reasons. I have a ship who did, but only through the words of producers, never once onscreen.

I think I’ve mentioned this before but it drives me fuckin bananas when people want to be all like “why do you only like white things?”  First of all, I didnt know “things” had colors.  Secondly, I love all kinds of things.  Why be pissed because I love Seinfeld and Pantera and talk about Jane Austen or Dylan Thomas?  I love “black things” as well, not that its any of your damn business…but I go crazy for Angela Bassett and am really getting into Audre Lorde and know/learn more things everyday about blacks in America and elsewhere throughout history. 

But I shouldnt have to prove myself to you or anyone.  I shouldnt have to “blacken” up or whatever.  Because people are quick to get pissed when white folks lump blacks and other minorities all into one category and think we must all be one way, but no one ever bats an eyelash when your sister, father, classmates, or people you dont even know on the world wide fuckin web do it.  I will like whatever I want, all day long, and you can go fuck yourself.  Thanks.

This kind of thing scares me to death.  You spend your whole life fighting that depression monkey and in the end it still gets you…it always seems to win.  How can I keep fighting when you see that even in your 60s, after fame and fortune and being the brightest star in the stratosphere, it can still drag you into hell? 

All I want is my sanity.  You can have the money, the love, the shits and giggles, you can have any fuckin thing you want but I beg you to leave me with my sanity.

Jul 8

My sister, who I have not always been on the best terms with is on both Tumblr and Twitter.  Apparently while we were having no relationship at all, which I think was the best thing at the time, she went off and got semi-famous.  She runs Black Girl Dangerous, I think that’s what its called.  Anyway, online friends who’ve known me a while know its my sister but I havent talked about it with other people.  We dont have much of a relationship, she lives across the country and there’s been bad blood between us, flowing from a trickle to a gush over most of the course of our lives.

Anyway, I do all that rambling to say I followed her on Twitter tonight.  She’s a militant, black, queer and that’s probably not even close to my proletariat, head down, quiet, bisexual.  I found her feed to be interesting, militant yes but also funny and insightful.  I surely wont agree with everything she says, I dont with the majority of my followers.  And I also dont think this will bring us any closer like some bad Lifetime movie where sisters reconnect online after years estranged. 

Its just interesting to see her thoughts.  I know I express mine on my Twitter and feel the freedom of doing so.  Where this little following experiment will go, I dont know, I actually hope she doesnt notice me and doesnt follow back.  I’m just kinda standing in the corner right now checking things out as they go along.

Erin’s outfit in It Takes a Village when she goes to the Congressional hearing is so fuckin sexy to me it makes no sense.  She looked ready to kick ass and take names.

Also, what a waste that they didnt show her testifying.  I think it would’ve been interesting to know how she felt about being lied to about Emily’s death and how her return affected Erin and Erin’s trust in her own agents.

I havent been sick in a while….

and it fuckin sucks monkey balls.  Its allergies as opposed to a cold so only my nose and chest hurt right now and not “everything and I wanna die” but that seriously doesnt make it more pleasant cuz its a fakeout like you can still do stuff but then you start hacking and your nose runs all gross and at least with a bad cold you can take a double dose of NyQuil and pass out for two days.

Random though in my head this morning

Ugh, to hell with the CM writers for relying on that tired ass trope, never even brought up or hinted at and surely never to be brought up again to write Alex Blake out of the story and somehow still make it all about Spencer.  What a crappy way for a really awesome character to go out.

I dont want to say this to be mean and I love both characters to death, seriously, but Poussey being in love with Taystee really doesnt work for me.  I loved their friendship in season one, though I could’ve done with more Poussey altogether.  Before the revelation that she was a lesbian (I dont think her sexuality was discussed at all in season one) they were just like sisters and it was awesome and funny and real. 

Girlfriend-wise though, IDK, she is just way out of Taystee’s league. I know they’re both gangsta in their own way but I just dont see Taystee being the kind of girl Poussey really falls in love with, and I think it takes a shit on the fact that lesbian women can just be best fuckin friends/down for anything with straight women and not always have to be secretly in love with them.

Sexual attraction doesnt always equal romantic attraction

I’m not quite sure what this means but I just read it on a post.  I think I feel like this.  I am sexually attracted to women, and have been sexually involved with them, but I dont think I’m romantically attracted to them.  I dont think I want to be in a relationship with a woman. 

Then again, I dont think I want to be in a relationship with anyone…unless someone knows a single, Jewish college professor in his 50s who isnt particularly interested in sex but loves to cuddle and have flirty, banter filled arguments about books, movies, politics, and history.

Re: An uncomfortable truth & Jensen: It's one of those things that I can't really believe, because it puts the onus on Jensen and makes him look unprofessional, like he can't do his job because he doesnt' want to kiss a friend. Then why bother playing up the homosexual subtext that we KNOW you KNOW abo t and do on purpose to keep the show going and keep your job? It's disgusting to me to know it and take advantage of us and the wuss out when the writers want to actually go through with it.

werewolvesangelsandhunters:

I’m with you 100% that’s the part I have a hard time with that post. Because say what you want about Jensen I’m fairly certain he’s a professional. And he was in a movie/tv show where he was in a threesome realtionship with another guy and a girl. So he’s not homophobic in the sense it’d get in the way of his job.

But, I don’t know if it’s the writers or producers or whoever that wussed out, someone in TPTB of spn has decided to go away from it. I find several things about season 9 troublesome. I’m about 6 episodes behind but what I have seen it’s such a HUGE step back in character development in ALL the characters. This season hasn’t set right with me, which is probably why I am so behind and haven’t taken steps to rectify it. I’ve never been of the thought it’d go canon just for the soul fact that I think people in media are assholes who could care less about representation. Another thing I’ve said that I’d actually more for is for Dean to be 100% without a shadow of a doubt canonically bi-sexual. I would choose that over Destiel being canon. I think if they wanted to take that step, this season would have been the one to do it. Or to build more into it instead of regressing.

I am however completely over how the actors treat Destiel and Destiel fans. I’m really honestly starting to feel like it, and us, are being treated as the butt of a joke. I’ve read a lot of stuff about JIBCon and just in general how they treat it on their twitters. At first it was like cute little nods but now.. now I just feel like they’re teasing us. And as a fandom we’re excusing it, saying it’s enough. That these subtextual elements and the fact we’re being acknowledged in any sense by the actors is progress, is a good thing. But we’re never treated seriously.

I don’t know how much of it is Jensen’s fault or the writers or producers or whoever. But I’m kind of tired of it. Honestly I’ve never been one of those “oh if my ship isn’t canon i won’t watch this show” kind of people. But I’m at the point with Supernatural that it’s not just fandom that has a hard time separating canon and fanon. I feel like the cast and crew try to blur that line without actually crossing it. And it makes me feel disillusioned with the show and all of them. It makes me sad and upset. Because I think they’re precariously close to queerbaiting, if they haven’t crossed that line already.

All of that aside, I still have issues with this past season that I just… don’t feel the passion for it as much any more and it sucks. I’m sorry for ranting to you.

But I get what you’re saying and I don’t think the onus is 100% on Jensen.

I feel like the cast and crew try to blur that line without actually crossing it. And it makes me feel disillusioned with the show and all of them. It makes me sad and upset. Because I think they’re precariously close to queerbaiting, if they haven’t crossed that line already.

THIS.  I like Destiel, though I dont quite ship anyone on the show.  But I’ve felt, and maybe its because I came in a little after the fact (the show had already been on like 6 or 7 years) that all the writers and actors do is queerbaiting when it comes to this ship, and some of the smaller slash ships as well.  I mean, I feel like most of the problem is there is are no real, lasting female characters on this show.  Just a bunch of men interacting mostly every week.  And that already creates an environment rife for queerbaiting.  Not that female characters would mean everyone would suddenly ship het, or that what you ship really even matters.  But I think the writers and PTB on this show arent the greatest group of people when it comes to respect for the fans. 

They already made Wincest fans look like total weirdos in an episode, trying to make it seem like satire (I’m not about incest but you dont shit on your fans like that) and then when people started to slowly let that one drift to the back of their minds, they put Destiel on the front burner (they probably did that even before the incident).  But its like, nah, just joking…keep enjoying the tired ass “almost”s.

The deeper and deeper the writers got into focusing on that ship, and even if just wrote the two characters interacting (and thus the ship in the shipper’s mind) the more I backed up.  I like the premise of the show.  I love the characters and the actors.  But its rare that a show, particularly a network show, has the balls to make anything non-hetero canon so I knew it would all eventually kinda explode like this.  You cant backpedal on something that’s become much larger than you though.  You can only try, at this point, to not get injured from the flying debris.